Today we learned that Disney and their evil henchmen Mickey and Donald kicked down the doors of LucasArts and effectively burnt the studio to the ground, claiming that they are “restructuring” their gaming side of the business and opting to go down the “licensing” route.
Basically it means anybody who puts enough green into the pockets of Disney can make a game and slap ‘Star Wars‘ on the cover and charge a premium price. It won’t be long until we get some licensed game, but what will they be?
Well, I’ve thought about it in ten minutes or so since I discovered what Disney had done, and below is my prediction of what future Star Wars game will be.
1. Activision & Call of Duty: Star Wars Edition: Future Warfare
Activision will no doubt want to get in on the Star Wars franchise, and rightly so as it’s popular and there are millions who would love to see a new game. However, we won’t see a new game, we’ll see Call of Duty spin-offs with the Star Wars license plastered all over it.
“Take the fight to a galaxy far, far away with the latest first-person shooter! Slog your way through a dull and repetitive 3 hour campaign. Fight the same enemies again and again whilst having military lingo barked at you from your Rebel Commander: Commander Price. Engage in linear vehicle missions where you’ll only need to pull the trigger, we do the hard work for you! Once you’ve finished the tacked on campaign, jump into the exciting and revolutionary multiplayer that critics are calling ‘the best yet!’ With over 5 maps to battle in (more to come in the form of DLC!) and a staggering 9 weapons (don’t worry, you can buy more!) you’ll be able to fight it out against foes all over the world, young and old (mostly young.)”
2. Rockstar Games & Grand Theft Auto: Coruscant
Rockstar Games don’t normally take on licensed properties, but if they did, I imagine they’d do what they do best: open-world, tongue in cheek and full on murder.
“Get ready to experience and experience that’s like no other experience you’ve yet to experience. Darth Kuntz returns to Coruscant after spending 5 years killing Jedi kids in space, now he’s just trying to get by in a galaxy with no hope, no future and no end. Explore the vast open-world of Coruscant and take missions from people you could easily kill and replace. Steal space cars, space helicopters and space airplanes, or get a real job and buy your own space shit, it’s up to you.”
3. EA & SimCity Star Wars
EA, like Activision, are always on the lookout for licenses they can ruin with cheap and nasty games. Star Wars could prove to be the turning point for EA, they may actually make a decent one. Maybe…
“The defining city simulator is back with SimCity Star Wars! Control and manipulate your space-folk, rub shoulders with the Hutts and engage in some light slave-trading by selling Ewoks to Ewok fetishists! Buy and sell your virtual land with actual money! Warning, if you go bankrupt in-game, you’ll probably go bankrupt in real life, where does the simulation end?! Online connection required to open disc case, once disc is inserted into machine, you may have to pay a one-off fee for a chance to remove it.”
4. Travellers Tales & LEGO Star Wars: The Really Complete Saga (for now…)
Travellers Tales came out of nowhere and blew us away with LEGO Star Wars, then they sort of became reliant on LEGO, a bit too much. Like a crack addict and crack. You get the picture…
“You’ve seen the 15 films, 9 different TV shows, now play the game! Embark on an endless journey through the many forms of media we’ve turned into LEGO, battle the same battles with different characters and smash anything that is made of bricks! With over 40 characters who look remarkably similar to each other, you’ll never have felt so close to the franchise you used to love.”
Like The Games Cabin on Facebook. We’ll do an average job at amusing you and a worse job at making you give a damn.